Untitled, Written for TDOR 2023

I wish that people knew
That when you choose to slough off the egg
And become the you that will be
That yes, the shape of the body changes
But what changes so much more
Is the shape of the heart

I wish that people knew
That when your heart finally wakes up
And you finally start to see
That yes, the way you dress changes
But what changes so much more
Is your place in the world

I wish that people knew
That when you make all these choices
That suddenly, you see
all of the hurt and the pain
A sea of people just like you,
or like how you were
And all you want to do is scream
This new transfeminine howl

I wish that people knew
That when the trans girls are behind closed doors
That yes, there are the makeup tips
The happy selfies, the twirly dresses
But what you also see
Is that there is always a hat being passed
Someone who lost their job,
Someone living in a car
Someone not around anymore

I wish that people knew
That when you finally start feeling
After decades of not
That one cannot shut up
There is no option to do anything
but to witness and remember
For your siblings that can’t

I wish that people knew
When they look at my trans face
and utter the word “brave”
That yes, I do know who I am
And what they all think of me
But what is really brave about me
Is that I look at tomorrow with hope
With a desire to help and a hand out
What’s brave is to do that with a smile
instead of that transfeminine howl

Copyright 2023 by Zoë Michelle Schirmer